The Vatican: “Round Earth? That’s Utter Bullshit!”

Officials at The Vatican have officially declared the depiction of Earth as seen from space to be a hoax and an apparition conceived and developed by man’s inability to accept the Earth as being square in form. Paolo Cherubini, Professor of Palaeography at the Vatican School of Palaeography, Diplomatics and Archives Administration went on record early this morning saying he believed the entire “the world is round” theory as being “Complete hogwash, anti-Semitic and utter bullshit”. (more…)

Farewell, Bay Cove

Bay Cove Human ResourcesThe following is my farewell message to Bay Cove Human Services, the company I have worked for the past 10 1/2 months.  I post this as a tribute to those who have changed my life since I went to work there, and to let them know how much I appreciate them.  Yeah, in many cases it was “just another place to work”, but it was truly a different, enlightening experience for me, one that will leave a mark and a lasting impact…    (more…)

Black Folk – The New Internet Champions

Cambridge, MA –  A new study out today shows black people are faster and more efficient web surfers than their white counterparts.  Although a surprise finding for the whitey, the Portuguese are reportedly “really ticked off” with the results, sighting their ever-increasing numbers entering the world of technology and those taking typing courses at local community colleges.

The study’s author, insisting on anonymity, says, “Blacks have proven themselves to be more Internet savvy, mostly in the area of searching the web.  It mostly comes down to Ebonics versus the Standard English that is bastardized by most Americans and the English themselves.  Case in point:  A white man can perform a Google search for ‘booty’, in which he intends the search results to return sites dealing in monetary terms.  In comparison, the black man will garner returns with sites dedicated to both money and sweet, massive black bitch ass.  More useful search results translates into a more productive web surfer.” (more…)

Random Thoughts

randomthoughtsIf auto makers really wanted to produce a quality vehicle they would make a car or truck that lasts forever.  Unfortunately this would cause all auto manufacturers to change their business and production models to rely only on selling new vehicles to new populations of drivers as they become old enough to drive and buy their product.  If you sell each vehicle for $150,000 to each new driver, assuming the vehicle would last forever, wouldn’t the car companies be profitable?  Instead they insist on making products that last, if you’re lucky, for five years.  It’s quite obvious their current business model isn’t working.  Let’s try mine instead.

Is it really better to have loved and lost than never loved at all if you end up committing suicide because your girlfriend broke your heart into 128,000 tiny pieces when she gave you the heave-ho? (more…)

Pandemic Hall of Fame

Oh My GOD!Remember when we were all afraid of this so-called H1N1 pandemic several months ago?  Do you remember when you actually had concerns about your safety and your health when the top story in every newscast outlined in detail the looming dangers of a global outbreak of the Swine Flu?

Have you also noticed that since the WHO declared H1N1 a pandemic in June we haven’t heard a whole lot about it?

I’ve been riding the train to and from work since last March.  In doing so I am shoulder to shoulder with a lot of people every day and I don’t notice anybody caring one way or another if someone sneezes or coughs up a hefty phlegm ball.  Oh sure, I see an occasional over-cautious moron wearing a surgical mask, but I just consider them to be stupid-looking paranoid freaks who probably have some sort of excessive compulsive disorder in the first place. (more…)

I Helped Kill Michael Jackson

ikilledmike

Ok, I’ve been on record as being not-so-unhappy about Michael Jackson croaking.  It’s true, I’ve always thought he was a so-so talent and probably should have taken some courses at the local community college back home in Gary, Indiana so he could really make something of himself.  But as the coroner’s report came back indicating Jacko’s death was a homicide, well, that pissed me off.

First, no doctor, even if he is a doctor that stays with you and is part of your entourage, should be able to administer drugs and medications normally reserved for hospital use.  If I were rich enough to be able to have a doctor that traveled  and stayed with me wherever I was living I would have to realize that this guy is going to do whatever I ask him to do.  If my doctor lived with me I would have an endless supply of percaset.  I’d have it set up so I could pop ‘em right out of a Pez dispenser for God sake! (more…)