Whatchu Talkin’ ‘Bout Willis?

Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Don’tcha know I took a fall and had a hemorrhage in my head?

All life long I’ve been a little midget bent spoke
All life long I’ve been a little midget bent spoke
That hemorrhage really hurt and I wish I’d had a stroke (er, or somethin’ Diff’rent, anyway)

I was typecast and I never really got a break
I was typecast and I never really got a break
That hemorrhage felt like in my head a hard, cold driven stake

Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Don’tcha know I took a fall and had a hemorrhage in my head?

I was broke, I was broke and I got no kidneys, too
I was broke, I was broke and I got no kidneys, too
If it wasn’t for my death I just wouldn’t know what to do

My wife she was butt ugly but she was all I could get
My wife she was butt ugly but she was all I could get
She conspired to kill me and she won that hemorrhage bet

Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Don’tcha know I took a fall and had a hemorrhage in my head?

I once ran for gov’nuh and I couldn’t stand all the jokes
I once ran for gov’nuh and I couldn’t stand all the jokes
It was just like I was back on that sitcom Diff’rent Strokes

My life it was useless, you’ll see it when my obit’s read
My life it was useless, you’ll see it when my obit’s read
I think I’m kinda glad I had that hemorrhage in my head

Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis, oh yeah, I am dead
Don’tcha know I took a fall and had a hemorrhage in my head?

Black Folk – The New Internet Champions

Cambridge, MA –  A new study out today shows black people are faster and more efficient web surfers than their white counterparts.  Although a surprise finding for the whitey, the Portuguese are reportedly “really ticked off” with the results, sighting their ever-increasing numbers entering the world of technology and those taking typing courses at local community colleges.

The study’s author, insisting on anonymity, says, “Blacks have proven themselves to be more Internet savvy, mostly in the area of searching the web.  It mostly comes down to Ebonics versus the Standard English that is bastardized by most Americans and the English themselves.  Case in point:  A white man can perform a Google search for ‘booty’, in which he intends the search results to return sites dealing in monetary terms.  In comparison, the black man will garner returns with sites dedicated to both money and sweet, massive black bitch ass.  More useful search results translates into a more productive web surfer.” (more…)

Random Thoughts

randomthoughtsIf auto makers really wanted to produce a quality vehicle they would make a car or truck that lasts forever.  Unfortunately this would cause all auto manufacturers to change their business and production models to rely only on selling new vehicles to new populations of drivers as they become old enough to drive and buy their product.  If you sell each vehicle for $150,000 to each new driver, assuming the vehicle would last forever, wouldn’t the car companies be profitable?  Instead they insist on making products that last, if you’re lucky, for five years.  It’s quite obvious their current business model isn’t working.  Let’s try mine instead.

Is it really better to have loved and lost than never loved at all if you end up committing suicide because your girlfriend broke your heart into 128,000 tiny pieces when she gave you the heave-ho? (more…)

Internet Porn – Wow! Is This Stuff Really Free?

I remember the first time I got onto the web. Yup, it’s true, there was a time when my co-workers called me a “newbie”. It was the fall of 1995. I had just gotten a new computer and I finally figured out how to connect a phone line into the back of the thing and by using my ISP configurations, I was able to get onto that web thing and poke around. I hadn’t heard about what a great informational resource the web was. I hadn’t heard about what a great research tool it was. All I heard from all of my friends and co-workers was it was an excellent place to get FREE PORN. Gee, they were RIGHT! (more…)