Internet Porn – Wow! Is This Stuff Really Free?

I remember the first time I got onto the web. Yup, it’s true, there was a time when my co-workers called me a “newbie”. It was the fall of 1995. I had just gotten a new computer and I finally figured out how to connect a phone line into the back of the thing and by using my ISP configurations, I was able to get onto that web thing and poke around. I hadn’t heard about what a great informational resource the web was. I hadn’t heard about what a great research tool it was. All I heard from all of my friends and co-workers was it was an excellent place to get FREE PORN. Gee, they were RIGHT! 

I think the first search I ever did was “big tits free porn” or something like that. I was so excited as I hit that Enter button and watched a listing of all those free porn sites slowly paint, horizontal line by horizontal line across my monitor. Of course at this point I had no idea that each picture I would try to view after that would take ten times longer to “paint” onto my monitor, but what the hell, I was a newbie and I was porn surfin’! Even better, it seemed like all that porn was there just for me, intended for no one else to see. There I was, sitting at my desk in my home office, thinking how great it was to be able to see all these cool pictures all in the privacy of my own home. No one else would know I was doing it, no one else would know what I was doing with it, it was just me and the babes. All I had to do was make sure the curtains were closed tight.
So there it was, my porn listing. Each item in that list was a gateway to all that glorious Internet porn. I was just a click away from any type of porn I wanted since my search criteria was so broad…big…tits…free…porn. That covered almost everything. That should give me anything I could ever think of from a porn standpoint, don’t you think?
CLICK!
Popup window flashing popup window another popup window more flashing popup windows another popup window cookie downloaded to my computer popup window another downloaded cookie another popup window another flashing popup window another cookie downloaded another popup window another cookie another popup window another damn cookie yet another flashing window another cookie and HOLY CRAP CAN SOMEBODY MAKE THIS STOP????????
At that point I had no choice but to unplug my computer from the wall. I couldn’t stop the madness that was happening! All I wanted was some free porn and instead I had unknowingly unleashed an onslaught of pornographic mayhem never before witnessed by man! By the time I pulled that plug out of the wall I didn’t even get to see any porn. All I saw were flashing windows, window after window being opened and stacked on top of one another and bells, whistles, cowbells, those damn air horns people bring to hockey games and every other sound possible except any porno-type (”ooooh aaaaah”) sounds that I was eagerly waiting to hear.
I learned that day, that first time, that Internet porn just isn’t worth it. Just as I have never in my life been to a strip club, I have never, since that night, surfed the web for porn again. Being a computer programmer, I learned in the days following that event what had actually happened to my computer. I saw first hand all of the crap that these sites installed on my hard drive. I thought I had cleaned it all off, but my computer never acted the same way after that night of porn surfing. Maybe it felt violated, maybe something was installed that it didn’t like, or maybe it was just plain embarrassed. I always thought of it as “computing without a condom”. My hard drive, my computer’s registry, everything was open, exposed and vulnerable for just those few moments, but it was like a lifetime. Regardless, that computer was never the same again. Years later I gave it to my mother-in-law so she could learn how to use a computer.
There has to be a lesson here, I suppose. Somewhere in this very personal and revealing story there has to be some sort of practical message you can relate to and use in your everyday life. There’s just got to be something you can take away from this story that will enrich your life in some way. I’m not sure what that might be, but my mother-in-law sure learned quickly how to use a computer, and to this day she smiles and giggles like a little school girl every time she boots her computer up and hears that welcoming “Microsoft Sound”.
Oh – in case you wondered what the top item returned from searching for “big tits free porn” was, have a look-see >>>>

 

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