The God Particle and Choosing A Pope Name

god-and-physicsThis week physicists announced they are more confident than ever that the “Higgs-like” particle discovered last year is the Higgs boson.  In case you haven’t kept up to date on your physics, the Higgs boson is the particle that holds the key to understanding why objects in the universe have mass.  I don’t know what a boson is, but I do know that Higgs is the guy the boson is named after.  It’s funny, when I first saw the headline link to the news story I thought it read, “Physicists Increasingly Confident They’ve Found the Big Bosom“.

Once I opened the news story and realized what it was really about I closed it after losing all interest.

One thing that intrigues me is this: exactly how does one go about discovering a new particle?  Are there really people on this planet who have that kind of brainpower?  You would have to think if someone here is that smart, they might be able to chip in and help fix some of Earth’s problems like war, hunger, poverty and the new problem with the annual monarch butterfly migration to Mexico.  When they get done tackling those issues they could move on to climate change, recreational space travel and taking care of those idiots in North Korea once and for all.

But I guess looking for new particles takes up a lot of time, since there are so many particles and you have to somehow track which ones you’ve already seen.  You can’t just tag a particle with a tracking device like you can a wild animal.  I imagine there is a lot of tale-chasing going on in the world of physics.  Geeky guys in white lab coats passing out after spinning in circles for hours at a time.  To us it probably looks silly or even stupid, but to those physicists, it’s all in a dedicated day’s work.  Parts is parts, but particles aren’t just particles.  I think we all know that by now.

And since the Higgs boson is also known as the “God particle”, we have a nice segue into our next topic…

I am so happy the conclave made quick work of their task to steer the Catholic Church into their next oblivion.  Now people don’t have to run concurrent March Madness and Sweet Sistine brackets.  If that were the case, absolutely NO work would be getting done in the workplace.  With just one bracket to pay attention to, American businesses should be able to maintain a 35% productivity rate instead of its normal rate of 50%.

The new Pope has one lung, is almost legally blind, and didn’t want the job the last time they designated a Pope.  So how is this guy better than Benedict?  Well, I guess you have more upside being 76 years-old as opposed to Benedict, who is 85.  If you want the Catholic Church to be current with the times and a reflection of the real world, make sure it’s figurehead is well outside of the average age demographic of the planet.  Ok, right.  Makes perfect sense to me.  That’s like having Zsa Zsa Gabor as a spokesperson for a varicose vein cream.  At least Benedict tried his hand at tweeting.

I know a guy who went to Rome to be there when the new Pope was announced.  You know, the streets were packed with vendors selling trinkets to tourists at ridiculous prices.  He bought a souvenir Bic lighter that had a likeness of the Sistine Chapel on it, and it cost 120 U.S. dollars.  The first time he tried to use it the flint broke so now it doesn’t work.  Now his lighter is just like the new Pope – it’s all full of fluid but does nothing worth a damn.  That’s a high price to pay for something you already know.

miguel-cabraraOne of the really cool things about becoming Pope is you get to pick a name for your pontificated reign.  I think it would be a lot more fun if they drew a name out of a hat, but the Vatican has ways of limiting fun and chuckles in honor of spreading their gospel, I guess.  The new Pope chose Francis I as his name.  I think it’s a lame name.  Why didn’t he just go with Femboy or Sally?  I would have liked the guy more if he picked out something cool like Xavier (as in savior) or better yet, Miguel Cabrera.

Here’s something interesting.  The other day on a local radio station one of the air personalities was talking about finding a dead cardinal (the bird) in his yard.  One of the other jocks mentioned that cardinals, like many other bird species, mate for life.  I love that about birds.  If you apply that lifestyle to the cardinals in the Catholic Church, does that explain why there are so many cardinals and they are all are so old?

I’m just saying.  There are some weird things going on in the Catholic Church these days…

Last but by no means least, I want to address something of a serious nature.

Did you see the 60 Minutes segment called “Lethal Medicine” last week?  I was pretty disappointed with the content of the segment.  My next blog post will detail this important story and I hope you stay tuned for it and read it when it comes out.  It’s important.

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2 Comments

  1. Nicole

     /  March 15, 2013

    Kdawg, since you are going to be reviewing a subject may I make a suggestion on another subject to review, how our economy is getting better, NOT!!!!! As of this week both of the girls next door are out of a job, Melissa lost her job in August due to downsizing and Entertainment (the coupon book company) filed for bankruptcy leaving Shannon high and dry with no severence or insurance. With the price of gas we can not afford to go across town for a visit with family and our grocery bill is at least 10% higher then a year ago and that is not due to my big boys!!!! Hope all is well Nicole

    Reply
    • Good idea. As you know, I was laid off in November of last year. As of this week I have become a full-time student at age 49. There is hope for the girls next door, and I’ll try to explain that. Thanks for reading as always, and Kim and I miss you, Bob and the kids!

      Reply

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