Where Are My Saturday Morning Cartoons?

randomthoughts2It’s been awhile since I’ve posted some random thoughts and seeing how they’re backing up in my head, I figured I’d let them out today.  Random thoughts can be like a caged wild animal.  The last thing I want is for one or two of these thoughts in my skull to rear up and bite me in the ass or kick me in the groin.  So, let’s let ’em loose!

Since the college football bowl game season has come and gone, I am stupefied with the number of college football bowl games we have to deal with every year.  I remember when there were just a handful of these games, played mostly on Christmas and New Years Eve and New Years Day.  Now you have hundreds of these things and there are a lot of .500 teams playing in them.  You know why that is, right?  Corporate sponsors and greedy college sports conferences is why.  You no longer have bowl games simply named “The Sugar Bowl” or “The Rose Bowl” or “The Cotton Bowl”.  Now you have “The Tampax Maxi Bowl” or “The Facebook Post A Picture Bowl” or “The Doritos MSG Bowl” or “The Nike Just Do It Bowl”.  It’s ridiculous and it’s out of control.

pilsenerurkuellLabatt Blue is my beer of choice.  It never fails me, whether it’s a hot summer day or a chilly evening of snow blowing the driveway. I refuse to buy American beer because it is watered down gray water.  A couple of years ago my neighbor and I were out snow blowing our driveways and he brought out a six-pack of Pilsner Urquell.  We stuck a few in a snow bank and sat down to take a break.  I figured any pilsner brewed in a town called Plzen (in the Czech Republic) had to be good.  Pilsner Urquell has become my absolute favorite beer!  It has a wonderful, pure pilsner taste with nice body.  I don’t buy it as often as I do Labatt Blue, though, because I want it to be extra special every time I drink it.  Neighborhoods bonding over a fine pilsner is a fascinating, spiritual thing.  I suggest you try some Pilsner Urquell!  Try it with your neighbor, too!

merganzersNow that winter is here I really enjoy the daily visits we get from our winter waterfowl.  Living on the Assabet River always offers a wide variety of wildlife throughout the year.  Every winter we are visited by several species of ducks and merganzers.  The merganzers are so colorful and they spend their days diving in the river for fish.  We watch them endlessly and are always entertained by their fishing skills.  It’s just one of those simple things that make our little spot on earth so enjoyable and amusing.  Having the Great Blue Herron here in the winter is also a very cool thing. He can fish better than any human with a rod any day of the week!

I wonder how many people realize that although the American government came to a basic agreement on the whole fiscal cliff thing, that agreement only solves about 10 percent of the entire free-fall we almost had to endure (and still could endure).  My advice to you is to take a quick look into what the fiscal cliff is really all about and afterward you may want to consider running for office yourself.  The whole ball of wax doesn’t affect any elected politicians anyway.  They are legislating things that will never touch them so they don’t really even care.  After two years in the House or Senate these people are all set with their pension, healthcare and anything else they could ever want or need for the rest of their lives.

And why do we pay our elected representatives anyway?  Grrrrrrr……

wabbitseasonI have a great appreciation for the old Saturday morning cartoon lineup from when I was a kid.  Every Saturday morning my three brothers and I woke up early, walked up to the TV, physically pushed the “On” button on the “television set” and sat back for hours of laughs.  The Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner Hour, Underdog, Tom & Jerry, Huckleberry Hound, Yogi Bear, Wacky Races, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Scooby Doo, Pink Panther, Speed Buggy, Jabberjaw and more.  Oh, they were great.  If you wanted to stick around a bit later you could watch The Monkees and then segue into American Bandstand with Dick Clark.  Those Saturday morning shows, all crammed onto three national network channels, were awesome!  The other day I was curious and had the Mistress of the DVR (my wife) check the Saturday morning lineup as it stands now.  All I recognized was a Curious George show on the channel listing.  Wow.  No wonder kids today grow up to be, well, you know…

Back in the mid 1990’s I had my left ear pierced.  Because I was an idiot I went awhile without wearing any earrings so the hole disappeared.  A few months ago I had my ear re-pierced and let me let you in on a little secret – I LOVE shopping for earrings!  In my normal daily life I wear a stud because I have to be somewhat on the politically correct side of things.  But when I go out I really enjoy wearing dangly earrings.  I just like the feeling of them flicking around and touching my neck.  It’s hard to find danglies that are for a guy if you don’t have a tattoo parlor/biker supply store in your town.  A few days ago my wife and I were shopping at JC Penny and I actually found a few pair of danglies that I can wear.  Imagine that!  There are some online places I have bookmarked that have some cool stuff.  But something about shopping for and finding dangly earrings that a man can wear is really exciting for me.  What the hell does that mean?

America needs to ban the sale of assault weapons.  Why do people need assault weapons?  Um, to ASSAULT people?  There’s my gun control spiel.  I’ve purposely held off from writing anything about gun control.  I figured why write an entire blog post about it when two sentences sum up the whole thing.  Duh.

I just developed my own calendar and it is based on the cycle of the moon, the relative barometric pressure average in the Bermuda Triangle and the Hollywood release schedule of all Spiderman movies.  Before you start using my new calendar you should probably know that my calendar predicts the End of the World on April 23, 2015.  Why?  Because that is when the NHL will disband because of their next labor dispute.  Gary Bettman, you are still a DICK.

Speaking of outer space (Gary Bettman), I am still waiting for space travel to become an affordable, mainstream thing.  I thought, when I was in school, that by now I’d be spending my vacations on the moon or Mars or even Saturn.  Right now the best I can do is go to Russia and pay millions of dollars to jump onboard one of their ships and head to the space station.  There’s nothing to do at the space station.  There’s no cable TV, no mini golf, no beach, my cell phone won’t work there and there’s no liquor.  They don’t even have a ping-pong or pool table!  Technology isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

princecharlesI have to wonder sometimes what it must be like to be Prince Charles.  He’s next in line for the English throne but he already knows he can’t accept it, so the son of his ex-wife gets the chair and he’s got to suck that up and be submissive to him.  Can you imagine having to follow the lead of your son?  All because he couldn’t keep his royal dick in his pants and treat Diana like the princess she truly was.  I miss Princess Di and the world doesn’t seem the same without her even after all this time has passed since her death.

On the subject of the empire across the pond…the English (and the rest of the world except for America) understand what real football is.  Real football isn’t played with an oblong ball with guys covered in padding.  Real football is actually very simple and a beautiful thing to behold.  It’s called SOCCER in America.  It’s FOOTBALL in the rest of the real world.  And there are no “Twitter Tweets-A-Lot” or “1-800-CashForCrap” bowls in real football.  Give me an English Premier League matchup between Manchester United and Liverpool any day over some schmucky American bastardization where players get to rest every four seconds.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please view this John Cleese video, presented to me through the wisdom of RDB

 

Those thoughts were pretty random and don’t mean a lot, but it’s nice to have them out of my head so more can come in and make themselves at home before I let them loose again.

Thanks for reading!

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2 Comments

  1. Kelly

     /  January 14, 2013

    I miss Saturday morning cartoons as well.

    Reply
    • KDawg

       /  January 14, 2013

      They were once a wonderful thing. Thanks for reading and for commenting!

      Reply

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