Sunday Morning Slur

If I lived in North Korea I’d be pretty upset that my government spent all that money building a rocket that failed after launch while I was slowly dying of hunger.  While I’d been watching the country I live in go down the poop shoot I would have at least expected a successful foray into an area my country has no business experimenting with.  I can’t imagine anything more dangerous than North Korea having nuclear capability.  Well, I guess it would be pretty dangerous to be a rocket scientist in North Korea today.  The regime that runs that country is crazier than the brain trust of Iran, Cuba and Alabama combined.

Countries like North Korea really concern me.  The entire normal world has condemned them and so many sanctions have been slapped on them it’s amazing they still exist.  That goes to show you how a whackjob government can control their own population while ripping them off.  They are literally stealing food from the mouths of their own people to fuel their insecure short-man syndrome.  The only thing that’s keeping us from invading them on an Iraq scale is China.  China scares our government AND they own more and more of America every day.  One wrong move with China and we’d be slitting our own throats.

For North Korea it’s back to the drawing board.  For the rest of the world it’s time to sit back and do nothing while we wait for them to scare the crap out of us again only to show they really are a third-rate country with no real clue as to what they’re doing.

All I care about in the Trayvon Martin case is that a young guy is dead who shouldn’t be.  People shouldn’t be using this case as a catapult for the issue of racism in America.  America is a racist and biased country no matter what anyone tells you.  There are several tests out there that prove this theory.  There is bias against women, minorities and even majorities in this country and education and empowerment aren’t going to fix it.  There is nothing in this country that makes people equal.  In fact, being a capitalistic society ensures we will always have a caste or class system in this country.  We have a document that says all men are created equal.  It’s a pretty simple statement, but it has so many shortcomings readily apparent upon inspection.  Most notably, women are excluded from the message and even worse, men have never been created equal in the history of this world.  Tell the slaves of Egypt they’re right up there with Pharoah and can sit at his dinner table.  The bafoons who wrote the Declaration Of Independence had slaves themselves, making them all hypocrites. 

If all men were really created equal, I would have already won 150 olympic gold medals and I would have been president of several different countries by now.  I probably would have also thrown 18 no-hitters, 12 perfect games and I would have wiped out Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 points in one game NBA scoring record.  The only thing that can stop hate and prejudice is for people to be raised and taught by people who don’t practice it.  It sounds simple but it will never happen.  It’s hard enough just for kids to grow up with two parents of opposite sexual orientations.  Don’t get me started on that…

Ok, if you insist…marriage is the union between a man and a woman.  Normal kids, who become positive members of our society, come from being raised by a father and a mother who practice normal upbringing methods.  And yes, that includes discipline when necessary.  Being a child is difficult enough these days, and being raised by same-sex couples doesn’t help any.  It doesn’t help at all.  And, it’s fundamentally WRONG.

Oh boy, it’s been 100 years since the Titanic mashed its way into an iceberg and sank.  We’ve got fireworks, a new 3D version of the movie and even a boat that is retracing the actual route of the original trek.  Last Sunday the MS Balmoral set sail to re-enact the Titanic voyage.  My first question is why would hundreds of passengers go for a boat ride when they know they’re going to hit an iceberg and sink?  It’s like, “Come on, climb aboard and drink the Kool Aid!”  

The real question now is how will they manage to sink this thing?  We all know there are no longer any icebergs in the northern Atlantic because of global warming.  So how will this play out?  My guess is the MS Balmoral will be torpedoed by a Russian sub off the coast of Newfoundland after it is mistaken for a North Korean tuna boat.  The reason there are Russian subs and North Korean tuna boats off the Newfoundland coast is anybody’s guess.  It probably has something to do with a deal we made with Iran back in the 70’s.  Many of the passengers on the MS Balmoral are dressed in period costumes but strangely enough no one is dressed as Leonardo DiCaprio or Kate Winslet.  Let’s face it – it’s hard to get into a romantic mood when you know you’re going to die in the freezing waters of the northern Atlantic.  My favorite scene in the movie is when people are falling off the ship and bouncing off the propellers at ninety miles per hour.  Just good, clean wholesome fun without the need for romance.

I wonder what they’re cooking up for 2037?  That will be the 100th anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster.  I bet that’s going to be awesome in 3D!  If they’re going to re-enact that trip, maybe they should just get a few hundred people to board a Russian airliner, since everyone knows those things can’t fly worth a crap.

I wish Courtney Love would just keep her trashhole shut.  It seems every few years she has to bitch about something, while invoking the name of her late husband Kurt Cobain, like he’s some sort of measuring stick for personal judgement.  Courtney, if you haven’t figured it out yet, Kurt Cobain wasn’t some sort of God that roamed the earth for too little time.  He was a heroin addict who couldn’t handle his so-called pressures of living.  He took the easy way out after getting the fame and notoriety he said he never wanted but secretly craved.  Yeah sure, he wrote a few songs that sold some copies, but in the end he was a selfish crybaby that left you a widow and the daughter you had with him a fatherless runt with a useless no-talent for a mother.  In fact, you’d do us all a favor if you’d just move to North Korea.  We really don’t need you here.

Let’s just stop wasting time and money and go ahead and declare Mitt Romney as the Republican nominee and open up the media window for other useless stories and events.  With Santorum dropping out, I think it’s a sure thing that Mitt has sealed the deal.  He scares me, his wife scares me, and politics in general scare me.  Again, though, it comes down to this question:  Are you better off now than you were four years ago?  I know I am, but it’s not because of the president.  It’s because I am always trying to put myself in a better position every day.  I put money away into savings accounts every payday, I try to spend wisely, and I try to make good financial decisions.  It’s not up to the president or the government to make your life better, it’s up to YOU.  If you expect your life to be improved by your government, get your head out of the sand, pack up your things and move to North Korea.  I heard they have openings in their Nuclear Arms Delivery sector for people like you.

GridironExperts.comEveryone needs some sort of perk in the workplace.  You’re hired, you get a paycheck for doing what you were hired to do, but it’s never enough.  Sales people are driven by commissions because their measly lives revolve around the dollar.  Artists need an environment that inspires them to create.  It doesn’t matter what you do or how much you get paid, everyone always needs more.  Do you remember when we invaded Iraq and the CIA issued that deck of cards?  What is the difference between that and the New Orleans Saints offering bounties to their defensive players?  Saddam Husayn was the ace of spades.  In the Saint’s deck that would be 49ers quarterback Alex Smith.  Uday Saddam Husayn was the ace of hearts.  The Saints translate that one into Frank Gore’s head.  It’s all the same stuff just on two different scales played in two different games.  I’m trying to figure out what the real difference is here and I can’t.  The world and Iraq are violent places.  Football is a violent game.  The United States had to win the war in Iraq.  The Saints needed to beat the 49ers.  The people in the Iraq deck of cards were all dangerous and were responsible for killing many people.  Alex Smith is a mediocre, overpaid quarterback.  I don’t see the difference here…

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