Love Your Carbon Footprint

beinggreenUnder the cloak of political correctness I have concealed my disdain for this whole “green” movement thing.  I can’t hide behind a false desire to avoid pissing people off anymore.  I’ve got to come clean about this “green”.

It is my responsibility to acknowledge that this concept of going “green” is a crock of bullshit.  My carbon footprint?  I’ve got your carbon footprint right here and you know right where I want to leave it.

The people who rely on the motivation of “leaving this planet in better shape for their kids and their kids and their kids” are fooling themselves.  Personally, I don’t give a crap if I leave this world in worse condition than when I entered it.  The way I see it, I live on this planet and while I’m here I am going to use the planet’s resources to sustain my existence.  I don’t plan my time here based on any future children that may or may not spring from my loins.  I’m here for me, my wife and my dogs.

Yes, I have a child, a son.  He’s about to turn nineteen years of age.  I would appreciate it if he’d approach his life like I do mine – live for the moment, don’t dwell on the past and don’t get hung up on the future because it’s a pretty difficult thing to control.  His life is his and it’s up to him to make his way.  If I mess something up that hinders his ability to breathe clean air, he’d better be resourceful enough to find something else to breathe.

Besides, while you’re doing everything you can to help yourself think the little things you do to help save the world are making things better for your kids, your neighbor next door is doing what I’m doing.  He’s doing things like sneaking recyclable materials into the regular trash because it’s easier, keeping his heat turned up in the winter and consuming more fuel, and driving his SUV to wherever he wants to go.  He’s living his life with the idea of being comfortable while he’s here.  Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Don’t get me wrong, I do some things that make an impact on the greenliness of the Earth, but I don’t do them to be “green”.  I don’t litter because it’s just wrong.  I try not to mess up nature because I believe in an animal’s right to share the Earth with me.  The most sacred thing to me on this Earth is wildlife habitat.  Anything outside of that realm is free game to be used and consumed for human survival.

Science has proven there is some sort of global warming going on, but science has also proven that the Earth’s weather patterns run in a cycle.  What we’re seeing now is, quite simply, the beginning of a new segment in that cycle.  It’s not like the dinosaurs farted so much they caused the climate to change and wipe them out.  Dinosaurs weren’t cutting down trees and polluting the air with the exhaust from their factories.  They weren’t capable – remember, they didn’t have thumbs.  They got caught up in the natural cycle of our global climate.

If world governments were really committed to saving the planet, the first thing they would do is ban all forms of plastics.  When plastic was invented, it was heralded as the savior of man.  How ironic is it that we had so little foresight?  It’s not ironic at all, actually – we just have governments all over the world that are greedy and self-serving.  Plastics will never go away because they are used in the construction of almost everything.

We humans are selfish by nature and any global effort to save the planet for the future cannot succeed.  Need an example?  How many people who currently drive a vehicle have heard about “being green” or saving the planet?  How many are aware of global climate change or the term “carbon footprint” or the meaning of the word ecology?  I would guess that a very high percentage of those who drive vehicles are familiar with these concepts.

Yet, when you’re driving to work in the morning you can look around you and most vehicles on carbonfootprintthe road have one person in them.  Car pooling?  It only works in California and that’s only because it saves a little room on the roads and can reduce gridlock.  All these cars and trucks with one person in them isn’t helping our Earth any.  Cars, millions of them, spew their emissions into the air and the atmosphere.  Sure, many of us say we’re concerned and we’ve gone “green”, but we don’t do the most essential things to possibly make a difference.  Do you share a ride with someone on your way to work?  I do – I ride the train every day.  Not because I’m green, but because I don’t want to put ten zillion miles on my truck every year.

We’re hypocrites and the only way we’re going to bring about real change to help the planet is if we’re forced to change.  No government has the balls to force that kind of change on its people.  We’re not ready to sacrifice the comforts of life because it’s our nature to want to be comfortable.  I can’t remember the last time I stabbed myself in the eye with a red-hot steak knife just for the sake of being comfortable.  No, I’m just not built that way and I’d bet you’re not, either.

So until that time when someone forces me to cooperate I will continue to drive my SUV.  I’ll continue to keep my house comfortably warm in the winter and I’ll keep buying bottled water in plastic containers.  I’m going to fart whenever I feel like it, and maybe even sometimes when I don’t.  I’ll continue to flush the chemicals in toilet bowl cleaner down the toilet and into my local water supply.  I’m going to keep sneaking cardboard into my regular trash because I don’t feel like cutting it into little twelve inch squares for the purposes of recycling.

I’m just going to continue living my life because until a government tells me otherwise, I am the boss of me.  I’m gonna do it my way.  Kermit the Frog, being the true pioneer he was, told us all many years ago that “It’s not easy being green.”  He was right, it’s not easy and it’s not practical, either.

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