For My Wife, Kim

It’s been awhile since I’ve had something positive to post on my blog, most likely because people can really be assholes when they open their mouths and spew their crap. Somehow it tends to back everything up like a constipated elephant and can really cloud your days. But alas, today is a day for the positive. And when I think of the most positive thing I can write about I think of my other half, my soul mate, my wife Kim.

When I first met Kim I thought she was a very strong-willed person. I thought she could take on anything no matter how big or difficult and come out on the other side with a sense of strength and pride in knowing she did something a lot of other people couldn’t do.

When I met her she used to work on her Camaro. Not just changing the oil, but she could diagnose engine problems and fix them. She would get under the hood of that car and become a real grease monkey, people.

She owned a Pitbull named Skillet who was such a wonderful dog. She had an unbreakable bond with her best friend that I truly admired. She also worked a job that she knew was on the ground floor but she quickly showed everyone that she had more than what it took to succeed and within a very short time she became one of the most respected people in the company because of her ability to organize and get things done correctly. I was so proud of her during those early days when we worked together. Proud of what she accomplished and proud of how she set herself up to go even further.

When we met I was going through the most difficult time of my life. Without going into detail, what I faced would make anybody run away from me. What I was dealing with stretched my family very thin and would change my life forever. I was honest with her from the very first about what I was up against and she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was support me in any way she could with no questions asked.

And she did.

And it meant more to me than anything ever did before. I thought that would be the last time she would have to sacrifice for me. Turns out in June of 1998 I was a pedestrian struck from behind by a car traveling 55 miles per hour. My body was bent in so many unnatural ways I came away with some rather serious injuries. I knew these injuries would hamper me for the rest of my life, but I had no realistic idea as to how much.

During my rehab time (which lasted close to two years) from the accident Kim made every sacrifice on my behalf and she never once complained. Imagine having a husband stuck at home every day, stuck in a chair while rehabbing from multiple surgeries. I had to piss in a bottle during the day while she was at work because I couldn’t get out of that chair by myself. If I had to take a crap I couldn’t do it alone and I certainly couldn’t finish the job alone.

The sacrifices she had to make during that time were way beyond anything any human should have to go through. She not only dealt with my physical limitations, but she had to manage my emotional state as well. All during that time she never complained. She always told me she made a vow during our wedding ceremony and she intended on keeping it.

She taught me many things about her during that time in hell. I cannot and will not ever forget the bravery she demonstrated every day in the face of my life altering situation.

Shortly after I was well enough we moved to New England in 2000. I was lucky enough to land the job of a lifetime so we could live where we wanted to instead of where we felt we had to.

Over the past decade we have made our home and we have lived our lives. It wasn’t until recently we were able to break away from certain bindings and go back to living our own lives as a couple. We kind of feel like we’ve just gotten married again, like we’ve taken our lives back instead of having to be bow to other people’s objectives and how they think we should be.

As we begin this new phase of our lives together I want my wife to know that I am committed to loving and supporting her without question or hesitation. Just as she did with me on so many occasions, I have one purpose on this earth and that is to provide the best I can for the woman I love. That means the best life, the best happiness and even the best sorrow.

Many things happen to each of us as we go through our lives. Some things we plan for, some come as a complete surprise and some things are just shockingly awful and without any chance of forgiveness. When bad things happen to good people we owe it to each other to support rather than criticize. We owe an understanding ear instead of being on the defensive. We each owe each other a certain level of compassion and dignity.

Those who don’t behave in such a civil manner aren’t worthy of my time or effort.

After my accident there were some people who criticized me for suing the insurance company of the 17 year-old idiot that struck me with his car. Some had the audacity to say the kid suffered more than I did because of the emotional stress he was under. But as I awake each morning and try to put my feet on the floor I think of two things; What that bastard did to me with his car and how much I love my wife for not giving up on me. With each step I take each day of the rest of my life I am reminded of both the good and the bad that came out of that time.

For my wife, Kim, all of the love I have is for you. You can always count on that. You can rest assured knowing that I will always support you and I will always offer to you my shoulder, my hand and my understanding. It doesn’t matter what you do, what you think, what you’re up against, anything.

I love you forever and ever and even longer than that. I love you always, but not until the end of time, because our time will never end.

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