Bad Trends And Muffin Tops

I’ve been noticing some things lately that make me think twice, maybe three times about them. They might be trends or just the plain, everyday devolution of mankind. For example, years ago when kids all of a sudden started wearing jeans that had crotches that hung to the ground, I was perplexed. I had to think about it for a few minutes, and then I came to the ultimate conclusion that the youth of that time period were on their way directly to hell. This was solidified as fact as soon as that same generation let the skateboard become their national symbol of pride.

Some things just naturally bother me without having to think too much about them. Hollywood celebrities who come out and voice their political opinions in support of a candidate really piss me off. They think just because they have celebrity we should give their opinion an extra special consideration. Wake up, people – actors are just that – they act. They spend their days acting as someone other than themselves because most of them don’t even know who they are as a person. It’s like going to work every day and playing house or having a damn tea party with invisible guests!

These days I see new things that mesh right into our broken society. These things don’t stand out to many of us because we see our social landscape as one of a broken-but-working thing, hobbling along as we put out the daily fires we each face. Now that I work in the city I am exposed to many more people every day and a lot of them are just flat-out weird.

What’s up with this new trend of wearing a suit AND a baseball hat with it? Since when did that become something that a lot of suit wearers think is cool? It’s like, one or the other, people. The two don’t go together. You might as well start wearing your underwear on the outside of your pants if you’re going to continue with this fashion idiocracy! A baseball hat completely takes away from the entire purpose of wearing a suit in the first place.

This Is BAD

Muffin tops. Yeah, muffin tops. I’ve been seeing them for a while now but I never knew how to reference them correctly until just recently. Muffin tops are shortened tops worn by woman with lots of hip fat. The fat conveniently spills out into the open for all of us to see between the bottom of the top (shirt) and the top of the pants. Usually, if pants are not worn, the muffin top becomes a regular top minus the muffin. But, most women prefer wearing some sort of pant whether short or long while in public. Muffin tops are right up there in bad taste along with 300 pound women who insist on wearing spandex. The number of the latter has appeared to have diminished in recent years, possibly because those women are now too large to make it through their home’s doorway and into the outside world.

The worst type of muffin top is one that shows off the woman’s stretch marks. That is bad, very bad.

Another fad I’m seeing is men shaving their heads. I would bet that of all men, baldies make up about 15 percent, at least in my travels. A lot of men sense that a receding hairline isn’t sexy or shows some sort of male deficiency. So, they shave their head. Some men think it’s too much trouble to take care of their hair so off it comes. Hair loss has been around since forever. Have you ever seen a picture of a caveman with a shaved head? Even in the Planet of the Apes saga, you never saw a bald ape and they even had the skills to use razors and clippers!

Here’s what’s really sick about these bald idiots roaming the streets – every head has scars, flakes, scabs and other imperfections. I once watched a bald headed fart sitting in front of me on the train picking at his melon. I’m watching flakes of skin falling off his head, I’m watching him pick the scabs off and look at them on the end of his finger. I look back at his head and he has blood starting to ooze from the divot he just created.

Hey bald guys – if you’re going to pick at your skull, do it in private. I don’t want to see your naked head with all of its imperfections and veins and stuff. Cover that crap up with a baseball hat and then put a suit on for Christ sake!

This post is getting long so I’ll touch on one more and then go take a shower to get this disgusting debris off my body. There are so many things that piss me off but space and your attention span limit me. One last one, here we go…

Goddamn doctors and pharmaceutical companies. Yeah. Is there a doctor out there that knows how to cure anything anymore? Are the only things a doctor can tackle limited to what the pharmaceutical companies provide drugs for? If that is the case, nothing ever gets cured. In fact, the only things that do get cured are things there are no drugs for! There is no prescribed drug to cure a cold or the flu. But get cancer, an enlarged prostate or an erectile problem and you’ll be on prescription drugs for the rest of your life with no cure possible. Prescribed drugs do not cure – they just make your problem(s) more tolerable. The only side effects are, well, the side effects.

I suppose this would be the reason why doctors are always “practicing” medicine. They don’t really have to perfect it or become perfect at it because prescribed medications allow them to get away with only practicing. How damn sad is that?

To really see how to cure what ails you naturally, visit my sister-in-law’s web site. She’s an Acupuncture Physician. It’s pretty amazing what getting your life into balance can do for you. There really is something to be said about having a healthy soul, and having that translates into a healthier you.

That’s enough ranting for now. My list goes on and on forever…

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  • Cheli, The World’s Greatest Dawg

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