Welcome ColdFusion Developers!

As of this week GetColdfusionJobs.com includes a link to my blog on their site. They solicited member resource submissions to link to on their site. Right up front I told them yeah, I have a blog, but no, it’s not about programming tips, web development strategies or even my thoughts about Star Wars, Star Trek or any other geek related material. My submission just said, “Hey, even though I’m a ColdFusion developer, I am a normal person who writes about normal crap on my blog. It’s not technical and most of the time what I write about doesn’t make any sense to the real world.” I guess they felt the content on my blog was a worthy change of pace from the average techno-garble usually found elsewhere from technical people.

So, welcome to you if you’re coming here from GetColdFusionJobs.com! Come to think of it, welcome to you no matter where you’re visiting from.

I will say this about ColdFusion – the language salvaged my programming career in 2000. Up until that time I was writing code using a proprietary language designed for statistical tabular output from data collected from market research studies primarily for Ford Motor Company. Wow, that sounds like an absolute thrill, doesn’t it? Ooooh, very sexy. About as sexy as my mother wearing a G string while suggestively licking ice cream out of a long, pointed sugar cone on a hot summer day on her back porch.

Um, I just puked on my shoes. Thanks, me, for that visual.

Anyway, in the late 90’s I began hearing rumors about this way-cool language called “ColdFusion” and how it was revolutionizing web development, making it quick and easy with huge amounts of power and slickness never before seen by mankind. The company I was working for wasn’t about to begin using it because they thought the web wasn’t a resource they needed to use. What a bunch of closed-minded dorks! Then again, many of the computers in their offices today are probably still running Windows 95 or 98. Sexy, indeed.

My wife and I packed up our stuff and moved to the Boston area in 2000 and the first thing the company that I went to work for (Stratus Technologies) did was send me to the Fast Trac to ColdFusion course being offered at the Allaire headquarters in Newton, MA. Those three days turned out to be the most important three days of my career! The day after the course was over I dove directly into redeveloping several Lotus Notes web apps into ColdFusion with Oracle as the back end. I’ve been totally digging the language ever since. ColdFusion transformed my career beyond sexy – it made my career orgasmic.

That’s where I am these days. I am not a geek by any stretch of any imagination. If you attempt to imagine me as a geek your skull will explode. If you try to lump me in with all of those web developer clowns that eat, sleep and shit programming code your anal glands will swell and then explode. If you try to get me to attend a programming convention or an offsite users group meeting you will first get a serious frown from me and then I will kick you squarely in the balls and tell you I’m simply not interested. Why? Because I’m NOT INTERESTED.

But, being a programmer/web developer I have to sometimes pretend to be some sort of geek at any given time during a work day. But in reality, I am still searching for my perfect career and I know it isn’t programming because I am just not smart enough to do it. Luckily, ColdFusion has made me at least appear to be smart enough to pull it off. As I sometimes say, “Baffle ‘em with bullshit.”

If you’re a programmer geek visiting my blog, go ahead and navigate around and read some of my stuff. It sure won’t give you inspiration as to how to solve any programming challenges, but it may inspire you to look outside of the confines of geekdom and see that even programmers can be real people with real everyday thoughts far outside the confining walls of technology. And yes, if you feel that there is no such thing as confinement when it comes to technology, then you truly are a geek.

Read on…

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

     /  July 10, 2009

    Hey KDawg,

    I agree. I'm a developer and I can only take so much of it in a day before I have to get away from it and do something else. There is something to be said about being "normal". In fact, I think you just said it!


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