Outrage At Petaluma

The annual 2009 Ugliest Dog Contest is now history and there was a surprise winner this year. In a contest normally dominated by the Chinese Crested breed, this year’s winner literally came out of nowhere. Pabst, a Boxer mix that was rescued from a shelter four years ago as a pup, took this year’s honors.

Pabst isn’t even ugly!

I am demanding a recount of the voting. I want to see the actual tabulation because of all the contenders in this year’s competition, Pabst is one handsome dude. First, he’s a Boxer which instantly means he is a handsome guy. Second, his face reminds me of Jack Nicholson. Last I checked, Jack isn’t considered ugly by women or men.

I would like those who voted to be sequestered for drug testing. At minimum these yahoos should have to pee in a cup. These crackheads obviously can’t tell ugly from their own asses! Ugly is Lisa Lampanelli, Danny De Vito and his wife Rhea Pearlman. Willem Dafoe is pretty ugly, so are Paris Hilton and Steve Buscemi. Just look at my buddy Pabst here – he’s a God compared to the pukefest I just mentioned.

C’mon people – you can find uglier dogs than Pabst that don’t even have any deformities. Look at your average Pug, Bulldog or Chihuahua – naturally ugly dogs usually owned by people who are just as ugly. Of course you can always look to any cat if you want pure ugly…with a touch of Satan as well.

I cast the cloak of shame upon this scam.

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