Kids – Bloodsuckers Of The Earth

Kids Suck

Sometimes my mind wanders and at any given moment something will poke itself into my consciousness and make me think. Many times, such intrusions are unwelcome guests that I quickly swat away. For some reason, though, I had a thought today about kids. That usually leads to thoughts about the kids I know, and the only kids I really have any contact with these days are my neighbor’s kids. Know what? Kids SUCK. Why do they suck? Because they don’t do anything.

I have no complaint that many kids these days are married to their TV set while feeding their addiction for console gaming. After all, who am I to question Microsoft, Nintendo or Sony’s right to program the minds of an entire generation? However, I find it somewhat confusing why most kids have lost that entrepreneurial spirit of providing services to make money in a world that emphasises the almighty dollar over any other form of social consciousness.
When I was under the age of nineteen I was always looking for any way to make that ever-elusive dollar. Whether it was by mowing lawns or shoveling snow off driveways and sidewalks, my friends and I always made our services available to those in our neighborhood for a fee. People in our neighborhood would gladly pay what was for them small sums of money in order to make their lives a little easier. For us, those small sums were meaningful and allowed us to fit into our teen-aged society – we got to be included into the group of haves instead of the have-nots. That was a pretty big thing. Back then, if you cut somebody’s grass for $5, that payed your way into a movie. Hell, cut TWO lawns and you can take a date!
Now that I am older and my mind and body don’t quite react as eagerly to physical labor the way they used to, I would greatly appreciate someone at least offering to provide such services for me. Sadly, those offers do not exist. I am 45 years old and I cannot for the life of me remember a kid offering to cut the grass for me for $5 or offering to shovel my driveway for some cash. Oh sure, I occasionally have an adult drive by and offer to cut my grass for $400 per month, but it’s not the same thing. So, I get to break my back doing the snow removal thing in the winter and I get to make time in my busy schedule to walk behind a lawn mower in the summer. Time is such a scarce commodity in my life that I don’t even wash my car anymore! Some kid can’t offer to do that for me on a hot summer day? Spend some time in the warm sun with a hose that spews cold, refreshing water?

While I perform these thankless tasks I can see the neighbor’s kids out of the corner of my eye, quietly chuckling at me under their breath. They all know they don’t have to do anything because they are kids. They know that mom and dad will give them enough in their weekly allowances that the concept of working and earning their money never comes close to entering their little minds. They don’t even do anything for their parents because if their parents forced them to do chores, the kids could sue them for child abuse!

So they get their little chuckle in at my expense, then head back into the basement cave where their XBox is waiting. They don’t care if it’s a beautiful day outside. All they know is they need to finish Gears of War before the next version of the game hits the stores.
I wrote this poem a long time ago and I will take credit for it here because it’s actually relevant!
I was once a child free and divine
Allowed to find my own way in this vast wilderness
As I began to feel my way I stumbled upon the expanse of reason
For not was my turning back, forbidden was any attempt at retreat
Through my gaze I determined truth and awry
And the solemn ability to understand the difference between
For simplicity is the foundation of strength
And the convoluted the basis of limitation
My decisive thought allowed for sound verdict to be posed
Via the teachings of my guide, the way shown to me
I discover that I am inept to stand within the construct

And I bow to the expectation of further knowledge

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  1. Things You Don’t Learn In School « Unknown Quantity

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